Well, this week's been crazy, as usual. Crazy seems to be the new norm now. I think back to the days where our evenings and weekend were spent watching TV, reading the news, going out and hanging out with friends. And then I think, meh. Too boring.
Looking back to when we had just started querying earlier this year, I remember saying it was this huge emotional roller coaster and that I'd been freaking out about it. I look back at that young, naive person and just laugh now. Querying? A roller coaster? Really?
Because that was nothing compared to what it's like now.
I'm quickly learning that the further you get along on this journey, the wilder the ride gets. So to any other aspiring writers out there hoping it gets easier, I got bad news for you. Because compared to this, querying was like one of those stupid rotating airplane rides that they stick little kids on. Once you get past the query, the highs get higher...
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| WOOHOO! THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! |
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| CrapcrapcrapcrapCRAP!!! |
By the end of this journey, I fully expect to be having regular, daily heart attacks.
So anyway, I was talking to a friend of ours about all of this, and how it's like elation one day and devastation the next, and they asked me a question that gave me pause. "So why are you doing this?"
They weren't trying to be mean or anything, it's just that the way I describe the journey to a non-writer, it sounds pretty much the opposite of fun. But it got me thinking. Why AM I doing this?
And in the end, the answer really is that I'm doing this because it's my dream.
And I know, I know, that sounds horribly corny and cliched, but let me explain.
By day, I work in IT at a bank. And the job's fine and all, but it's not like fifty years from now I'm going to look back at all the reams and reams of TPS reports I've filled out over the years and go "Yes. This is my life's work and I'm proud of that."
Writing is different for me. At the end of my life, if I can look back at piles of novels I've written, that people have read and enjoyed, that people will continue reading and enjoying long after I'm gone, then I will be proud of that. My life will have had meaning. My life will have mattered.
So I write because if I ever stop chasing after my dream, quite simply my life will stop having meaning. And once my life stops having meaning, there's literally no point in getting up every day. And that's just not an option. I write because I have to.
So what about you? I know there are a lot of other writers out there, I would LOVE to hear from you. Why do you write? What keeps you going on the bad days?
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4 comments:
Kristy:
You hit the nail on the head. I write because I have too, it's a curse, a calling, a need. I enjoy it, I enjoy sharing it. What I don't enjoy is the rejection, but no one said it would be easy. The nice thing is that with Amazon and other similar sites we can share our work, the desire to find an agent and a or a publisher is because we want that recognition. The one that says, yes, you did it. Your story, your writing is good enough to be presented to the masses. At least that's what I want -- to know I'm good enough, and that despite my shortcomings (for me it's grammar and punctuation, and when I get called on it -- I just want to quit! Instead, I try to learn from it and move on.) But as I was saying despite my failures to say it or punctuate it perfectly, I can and do tell a great story!
Great post, thanks! I was just told something I'd posted on FB had punctuation errors -- UGH! :)
I ask the why am i doing this question often. Although not as often as I did whenever I got on a roller coaster. I don't ride them anymore, because I don't like them. But I do like writing. A lot. :)
Hang on!!
I write because it's all I know how to do. I'm programmed for it. Or, at least, I'm programmed to always wish for it. Somehow that keeps me going.
@Yolanda: My shortcomings are definitely grammar and punctuation as well (doesn't help that I'm an software engineer by day). Luckily, I have awesome CPs who help me out with that. It's awesome that you can tell a great story! Best of luck with your writing journey and don't ever give up!
@Coleen: I'm glad you like writing because I LOVE reading your blog posts. They're always so touching and insighful. Keep up the good work.
@Amanda: Girl, you must be a vampire because you NEVER sleep! No idea how you get so much writing done, but don't ever stop. I'm so going to be one of those rabid fans camping out all night for signed copies of your books.
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